Discovering Myself

Everyone was happy. Everyone was sad. Everyone was overjoyed. Everyone was angry. Everyone was frivolous.

Well, I am being inquisitive about Everyone. It seems as if I want to know what Everyone is doing in Everyone's life. As I guided myself from a nuance to a veteran, I saw a change in Everyone's faces.

Innocence and love.

Last I saw this on the face of my love. It was a sunday evening, yet Everyone was busy. Streets,roads and boulevards were filled with Everyone. I confined myself in a stolid corner of the road. I was looking at the only innocent face in that crowd of Everyone. Unknowingly, my "look" changed into "stare" and gradually into "ogle". I cared not to question myself on my penitence. I didn't want to expiate for that. I ogled at her in a sophisticated way. I bet even Adam can't do it: the way I progressed my look.

Everyone was different from her. Indeed, she was different from Everyone. She was standing distinguished among Everyone. She had those emotions which Everyone lacked: Innocence and Love. She was greedy for love. There was no dearth of beauty in her. She had wore flawless body. Her spirit was purely exonerated. She was tender. She was fragile. She was a momentary pleasure. Yet, very strong. She was my love.

She looked at me in search of love. But, suddenly I realised I was a part of Everyone. As she discovered my identity, sadness engulfed her bright face. She moved ahead in search of a man.

The darkness was ensconcing Everyone in its shallowness. There were only silhouettes of Everyone walking down thw road. The night was calm.

The calmness of the night gave me a new potential, a mighty power. I will rise against the Sun. I will fill the shadows with umpteen cause to rise and beat the silhouettes. I will love my Love. I will be a MAN.

I thought I knew.

The time went by and I didn't even notice what I did in the mean time. I think I was too sure for my life. I took it for granted. But, it turned back and slapped me right on my face.

It's still red.

I thought I knew what I had to do in my life and what will be the modus-operandi to get it, or for this, to achieve it. At the snail's pace my inerests started changing, so much so, that I didn't even realise that now I want to do something else...or may be I want to do what I wanted to do hitherto. I may be sounding confusing, but believe me I myself am confused.

When I came to Pune for my graduation in mass communication, I had already planned to go into print journalism, and then later to be an author (which I still think I want to be!!). But, then somewhere in the middle I lost the touch in journalism and started confusing myself. Broadcast? Post Production? Film Making? Advertising? or back to Print Journalism??

I CONFUSED MYSELF... I have no idea HOW!!!!

Now, when I look back, I find myself nowhere. And still standing confused. It's my penultimate year of my graduation. So, that means I need to pull up my socks and finally decide what I'll do. In a couple of months I'll have to sit for my PG entrance exams, which is supposesd to be highly competitive.

So, All the best to me!!! :)

यह जिंदगी

आह!! वह क्या ज़िन्दगी थी जब हम सभी मिल-जुल कर रहते थे। कितना प्यार था हम में एक दुसरे के लिए। लेकिन आज हम मतलबी हो चुके है, या शायद पहले से ही हम मतलबी थे मगर हमने उसे उसका नाम नहीं दिया था। आज ज़िन्दगी जिस रफ्तार से आगे की ओर बढ़ रही है, हम उसी रफ्तार से उसके पीछे भाग रहे हैं। किंतु इस रफ्तार को बढ़ने वाला है कौन? क्या यह कोई एक व्यक्ति का काम है? नहीं। इसके जिम्मेदार हम सभी हैं। परन्तु, अब हम इसका कुछ नहीं कर सकते, क्यूंकि, अब हम इसके आदि हो चुके है। अब हमें यही ज़िन्दगी प्यारी लगती है, क्यूंकि शायद हम इसके उपरांत कुछ सोच ही नहीं सकते। परन्तु, अगर हमें यह ज़िन्दगी पसंद है, तो फिर हम इससे इतनी शिकायतें क्यूँ करते हैं? अगर हमें इसका जवाब मिल जाए तो शायद हम हमारी ज़िन्दगी में कुछ सुधार ला सकते हैं।